We can optimize the checkout process for mobile, too.
Wow, this website is fantastic, Veronica.
We make a good team.
With your computer skills and my ability to point at things I like.
Man, remember when this used to be my office?
That was about 85 throw pillows ago.
Joey, stop, I left you that corner.
10,000 square feet and I get a corner.
So, are we almost ready to get this thing started up?
Yeah, I just have to work out some bugs,
and the site'll be ready to go live in the next day or two.
You're amazing.
Yes!
- See you, Dad. - Yeah, bye.
Look at this, who knew this is what Veronica meant by coding?
So you're working well together?
We are. We got this mother daughter mind meld thing going on
and we kept coming up with the same ideas.
Me two seconds after her, but still.
I found this in my room hiding whoopee cushions.
Please keep it far away from us tonight, because there are no boys allowed.
Daevon, what are you doing?
Plotting to ruin Skyler's sleepover and annoy her friends.
Why would you wanna do that?
I'm living my best life.
This is a big night for Skyler, man. Leave them alone. Do you hear me?
Big girls sleepover, no guys allowed, classic!
- Are you ready for tonight? - My first sleepover is gonna be perfect.
I just want Lucy and Rachel to think everything in their lives, after tonight,
is a complete disappointment.
Know what they might like? Send 'em home with throw pillows.
♪ All about the Washingtons ♪
♪ It's like this, y'all ♪
Get your own snacks.
Hey, Dad.
Hey, V, what you up to?
Nothing much. Gonna grab brunch with Blake.
What?
Gonna go get some brunch with Malik.
You just said "Blake."
No, I didn't.
No, I'm pretty sure, you said "Blake."
What?
Why would I say "brunch with Blake"?
What's a Blake anyway?
Is that even a name?
It sounds like some sort of non-name name, you know what I mean?
What's going on? And who is Blake?
Okay, he is this gorgeous farmer that I met at the farmers market,
and I may have a tiny, little crush on him.
V, you have a boyfriend who gave you a dog.
I know, and nothing's happened, and it's not going to.
I love Malik, but...
But what?
Malik is cool and fun, but Blake is a man.
Daddy, he's a man!
You gonna stop saying "man."
Please just don't say anything to Mom.
It's just a crush, and I'm working through it.
I don't want her to freak out. I know how much she loves Malik.
That's Blake...Malik. Please don't say anything.
Me, I'm fine. I'm worrying about you.
Ho! Hey, V, it's Malik.
Hey, Mr. Washington.
- Malik, how you doing, Malik? - I'm pretty good.
Malik, nice hoodie, Malik.
Right on. I could get you one if you want.
Generosity, that's my Malik.
♪ That's your Malik, that's our Malik! ♪
♪ Can I get an L? ♪
Is everything okay, Mr. Washington?
Don't be so formal. Call me Malik.
You guys do have carbon monoxide detectors, right?
He's being silly.
Okay, let's go. Bye, Dad.
Do not tell Mom.
Justine!
I can't believe she didn't tell me this. What else did she say?
That his name is Blake, he's a farmer,
and apparently, he's gorgeous and I wish I didn't know this.
I need more, Joey. Like who is this guy?
Where did he grow up? Why is he single? Why am I finding out from you?
Probably Because she didn't wanna get grilled like this, Justine.
- I'm telling you all I know. - I don't understand.
Veronica and I worked on this website for days and she never said anything.
I could have helped her.
She's confused. She doesn't wanna talk about it.
She told you.
It slipped, I didn't wanna hear any of it.
I'm just a man that wants to sit on a couch and eat chips.
I gotta go talk to her about this.
Justine, you can't.
If you tell her I told you, she's not gonna trust either of us.
We gotta keep this a secret.
Okay, you're right. Thanks for telling me.
Of course, no brainer.
We never keep secrets from each other when it comes to the kids.
Jus, what's going on here? What didn't you tell me?
- You promise you won't flip out? - No.
Fine.
The last time you were on tour, Wesley took the car out for a joyride.
What car? The Maybach?
Are you joking? That car cost more than Wesley.
Jus, how can you not tell me this stuff?
I'm sorry. You were away. Are you mad at me?
Maybe. I can't tell, because I'm so mad at Wesley.
But you can't say anything. This has to be our secret, like Veronica.
Yeah, it's kicking in now.
I am mad at you!
I'm so excited you guys are here. It's gonna be the best sleepover ever.
Here's one for you and one for you.
- What is this? - It's the itinerary.
You'll see every fun sleepover activity listed.
Pillow fight? Manicures?
Treasure hunt? "Twister"?
Yeah, all scheduled in convenient 30-minute increments.
Let's go.
Hey, girls.
- Hi, Mrs. Washington. - Hey, Sky.
I'll be right there.
Maybe you wanna be looser with the schedule.
It might be more fun if you're a little flexible.
No offense, Mom, but I didn't factor in time for you to question me.
Hey, Wes, word on the street is... we're not allowed at this sleepover.
There's a sleepover?
The real question is, what are we Washington boys getting into tonight?
I don't know what you're getting into,
I'm meeting Tessie, she wants to hear the song I made her.
Can I hear it?
No, I want her to be the first to hear it.
And also, I haven't written it yet.
All I got is this beat.
I can help with the lyrics,
I know a bunch of words that rhyme with Tessie.
Okay, you got messy, dressy.
Does she ever go by Hannah? Then you can do banana, Atlanta...
All right, you know I got this one.
But I really wanna help.
Okay, you can be my associate producer.
Associate producer, what's that?
What? It's important, you get to be in charge of supporting the artist.
- Cool. - Great.
Go associate produce me a soda.
On it.
Yes, I'm out of jail.
All right, your turn, Rachel.
Okay, I'd like to buy a house on Marvin Gardens.
Time's up.
Great "Monopoly" game. Moving on.
But this was fun. Do we have to stop?
Afraid so. We only have 60 seconds to move to the kitchen for ice cream sundaes.
Ice cream sundaes.
Hey, I gotta say, I'm impressed you went above and beyond
and associate produced this mac and cheese.
Just making sure you got the fuel you need to produce fire.
That's weird. I thought I reserved the kitchen, yet you two are still here.
Yeah, yeah, no guys allowed. Got it.
Hold it right there. What's this?
A fork.
A dirty fork in the sink and not the dish washer? You're grounded.
What? Why?
This fork could have gotten damaged, and this fork is valuable to me.
This is insane, Dad. I mean, it's just a fork.
Insane? Do you even have fork insurance?
Fork insurance? That's not a real thing. You're acting like a crazy person.
First I'm insane, now I'm crazy.
Give me your phone.
What? You gotta be kidding me. I have a date tonight.
Phone now!
At least let me cancel.
She's gonna think I stood her up.
You should have thought of that before you disrespected my property.
Y'all having a good time?
This is terrible.
Tessie is never forgive me for standing her up.
I really like this girl.
All right, I'll do it.
Do what?
I'm gonna associate produce that phone for you.
Heaven in a bowl.
Hey, Dad.
Yo!
I have a really bad knot in my shoelace. Can you help me?
Sure, I'm the knot master.
Daevon, these laces are wet, you know that makes it harder to untie, right?
Yeah, I know.
- I don't know if this is possible. - Okay, I'll just wear my Velcro's.
That was an option?
Sorry, I can't find my keys.
What's up, V, you okay?
Yeah, no.
I was having brunch with Malik, and we were having a great time,
and in the middle of it, I got text from Blake.
The man. What did he want?
He wants to meet for coffee tomorrow.
- Coffee? You can't do that. - Of course, I can't.
Do I tell him I have a boyfriend?
Yeah, do that.
Why do I have to tell him I have a boyfriend?
It's just an innocent cup of coffee.
Great, then invite Malik.
You're right, it's not innocent.
Because when I think about it, it does not feel innocent, like, at all.
I'm very uncomfortable right now.
I have the perfect boyfriend. I don't even know Blake.
Why do I have these feelings, Dad?
Feelings are...
you know.
Come on. It's not cheating to have a cup of coffee.
I'm a grown woman. I should be able to control myself,
and have a cup of coffee with another human,
and see what the coffee's all about. Don't you think?
Does it even matter what I think?
Yeah, I think I'm gonna have that cup of coffee.
Thank you so much for listening to me and not judging me,
because I know if I told Mom she'd be all, "It is not going down like that."
And that would just make things worse
because I'm not really sure how I want it to go down like.
Love you, Dad.
It is not going down like that, Joey.
That's exactly what she said you'd say.
But Veronica thinks it's just an innocent cup of coffee.
There is nothing innocent about coffee.
Coffee with that farmer today means she and Malik are finished tomorrow.
Look, I know we like Malik, but isn't that up to her?
I'm her mom and I don't want her to make a mistake and get hurt.
That's why I gotta go talk to her.
No, Jus, if we say something, she's gonna stop talking to both of us.
So, you want me to sit here and do nothing?
Yeah, do that.
I can't do that.
Look, it hasn't been easy holding back from Wes either,
but I've been able to do it.
What the heck is this?
Why do you have a Pop Tart in your pocket?
I thought it was a cellphone.
I can't believe our daughter's future is in the hands of a man
who can't tell the difference between a phone and a Pop Tart.
- Thank you getting for this, Dae-Dae. - Just happy to be on the team.
All right, so what do I text her?
I can't tell her I put a fork in the sink, so my dad grounded me.
She'll think I'm lying or my family's insane.
Both have their issues.
What if I say
I can't meet up tonight because the song isn't as beautiful as her yet?
I'm gonna need some nacho chips for all that cheese.
You're right.
What if you say you're hanging with Big D and you'll catch her later?
That's not bad.
"So sorry, Tessie, can't meet up, have to babysit my baby brother."
I'm honored to be your excuse.
Yes! She said "awwwww" with five Ws.
Daevon, I think you deserve a promotion. How does full-fledged producer sound?
Wait. Does that mean I don't have to associate anymore?
They told me to dream big and now I'm here!
It's Dad.
Aren't you gonna pick it up?
Daevon, you're gonna write 400 times, "I will not pick pockets".
And you, Wes, you're gonna write 400 times,
"I will not use my father's property in a manner it's not supposed to be used."
Well, can't I just write, "I will not misuse property"?
It seems like a more efficient way of saying the exact same thing.
You think this is about efficiency?
- I don't think it's about a fork. - What was that?
"I will not use my father's property in a manner it's not supposed to be used."
Thought so.
Why are you doodling? You're supposed to be writing. You'll get in more trouble.
My theory is he won't care what I write
if I just draw a picture of him with big muscles.
Who knew this is what the Washington boys are gonna get into tonight?
How are you so happy right now? I got you grounded.
I'm just happy hanging with you.
Look, if we ever make it out of here,
let's make a song together.
- The one for Tessie? - No, our song, "The Washington Boys."
Really? That's my favorite song.
- We haven't written it yet. - I know!
Okay, we have time for two more turns.
- Okay, Skyler, you go, truth or dare? - Truth.
- Who's your best friend, me or Rachel? - You are.
Okay, Rachel, truth or dare?
Wait, what?
What?
I thought I was your best friend?
You did?
I'm sorry. I meant you're my best friend.
What?
I can't believe you.
What the heck just happened?
Skyler is everything okay?
Excuse me, besties.
They asked who my best friend was, and I guess it was some sort of set up,
because now they're both in there sobbing like lunatics.
So, we've reached that part of the sleepover.
Hold tight and mommy will take care of this.
What am I supposed to do in the meantime?
Well, if you can't beat 'em...
♪ The Washington boys We make a lot of noise ♪
♪ The Washington boys We don't play with toys♪
♪ The Washington boys, Unless they're good toys♪
- Yeah! - Yo!
You guys having fun behind my back?
Let me see your work.
Wow, you going to art school at night?
Dude looks just like me.
What's going on here?
I don't know. Dad grounded me for leaving a fork in the sink.
- For a fork? - Yep, that's the reason.
You know your dad, he's very particular about his forks.
No, I had no idea.
Okay, well, now you know. Joey, I'm taking your prisoners.
We got an important mission.
What the heck?
Like looking in the mirror.
I got it. What if you two are best friends with each other?
Right, that works.
I've always found the concept of one best friend a little stupid anyways.
Now you think we're stupid?
- Get 'em! - Girls are lame!
Yeah, girls are lame.
Except Tessie.
And Mom.
Yeah, her too.
Come on.
- My hair! - My clothes!
- Skyler, we have to get them back. - What should we do?
What should we do, as in "we"?
Okay.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
- Okay, let's plan our counterattack. - Yeah.
All right, we have 30 minutes to... Let's take all the time we need.
They did a good job.
I recommend them for early release.
Recommendation...
denied.
- This stamp just says our address. - Do it on my face.
You wanna go to solitary?
Sure, if I can go with Wesley.
I was thinking around...
- Hold on, I'll be back in a second. - Okay.
Mom, Lucy, Rachel and I are totally friends again.
No one's even using the word best.
See, Sky, all you girls needed was a common enemy.
- Thanks, Mom, you really saved me. - Of course, baby, that's what I do.
I save my kids.
I gotta go talk to your sister.
Okay, I'm gonna go back to planning the boys doom.
You're right, what am I doing?
"Hey, Blake, I'm really sorry I can't have coffee.
I have a boyfriend."
Okay, that's over.
Veronica, you are making a big mistake.
What?
You are ruining your life if you have coffee with that farmer.
I'm not gonna have coffee with him.
- You're not? - No.
And how did you...
Dad!
That doesn't sound good.
You told Mom?
She may have overheard me talking about it when I was telling her.
You promised me.
And you promised me.
I had to stop her.
How was I to know she was gonna stop herself?
I thought we were holding it in, but if we're not, Wes, here now!
No, Joey.
- Yeah? - Come here you little carjacker.
I wasn't mad about the fork.
Your mom told me you took the Maybach without permission.
What the heck, Mom? You said that was our secret.
Apparently we don't keep secrets around here.
I bet she didn't tell you that I dented the fender
and insurance covered none of it.
No, Wes, I didn't mention that.
You did what?
No, it was I who crashed the Maybach.
- Nice try. - Get outta here.
- You're gonna pay for those repairs. - I trusted you, Mom.
I trusted you.
I trusted you, Dad.
You, don't even start. You turned this place into a house of secrets.
- I don't get it, Mom. - Are you serious?
It doesn't matter it was between me and you, you told him.
What's going on?
What's all the yelling about?
Nothing.
What are you doing here?
I was just bringing you your keys, you left them in my car.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Malik.
It's just some keys.
You're still paying for that car.
♪ All right... Say, one dirty fork, not even a plate ♪
♪ Got locked down like I'm upstate ♪
♪ No sweat though, I'm-a be okay ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm just chilling With Dr. Dae Dae ♪
♪ Hey! ♪
♪ Wes be my hero from the start♪
- ♪ Brothers forever, we will never part ♪ - Mnh-mnh.
♪ Had a plan, thought it was smart ♪
- ♪ But now I'm doing time for a Pop Tart ♪ - ♪ ♪
♪ Look and now they got us on lockdown ♪
♪ And they took our toys♪
♪ I said it's all bad news For us Washington boys♪
♪ I said...♪
What the heck?
Attack!
What is that?
♪ This is all bad news For us Washington boys ♪
♪ I said it's all bad news For us Washington boys♪